Friday, October 8, 2010

Bible Study Humor

Bible Study Humor 
  

  

LOT'S  WIFE  
   The  Sunday School teacher was describing how Lot 's  wife looked back and turned into a pillar of  salt , when little Jason interrupted , 'My Mommy  looked back once while she was driving , ' he  announced triumphantly , 'and she turned into a  telephone pole!' 

GOOD  SAMARITAN 
     A Sunday school teacher was telling her class  the story of the Good Samaritan.  She asked  the class , 'If you saw a person lying on the  roadside , all wounded and bleeding , what would  you do?'  A thoughtful little girl broke  the hushed silence , 'I think I'd throw  up.' 

DID  NOAH FISH? 
     A Sunday school teacher asked , 'Johnny , do you  think Noah did a lot of fishing when he was on  the Ark ? ''No , ' replied Johnny. 'How could he  , with just two worms.' 

HIGHER  POWER 
     A Sunday school teacher said to her children ,  'We have been learning how powerful kings and  queens were in Bible times. But , there is a  Higher Power. Can anybody tell me what it is?  One child blurted out , '  Aces!' 

MOSES  AND THE RED SEA   
   Nine-year-old Joey was asked by his mother what he had learned in Sunday School. 'Well, Mom, our teacher told us how God sent Moses behind enemy lines on a rescue mission to lead the Israelites out of Egypt. When he got to the Red Sea, he had his army build a pontoon bridge and all the people walked across safely. Then he radioed headquarters for reinforcements. They sent bombers to blow up the bridge and all the Israelites were saved.' 
'Now, Joey, is that really what your teacher taught you?' his Mother asked.  
'Well, no, Mom. But, if I told it the way the teacher did, you'd never believe it!' 

THE  LORD IS MY SHEPHERD 
     A Sunday School teacher decided to have her  young class memorize one of the most quoted passages in the Bible - Psalm 23. She gave the youngsters a month to learn the chapter.  Little Rick was excited about the task - but he just couldn't remember the Psalm. After much practice, he could barely get past the first line. 
     On the day that the kids were scheduled to recite Psalm 23 in front of the congregation ,  Ricky was so nervous. When it was his turn, he stepped up to the microphone and said proudly,  'The Lord is my Shepherd, and that's all I need to know.' 

UNANSWERED  PRAYER 
     The preacher's 5 year-old daughter noticed that  her father always paused and bowed his head for  a moment before starting his sermon.  One  day , she asked him why. 
'Well  , Honey , ' he began , proud that his daughter  was so observant of his messages.  'I'm  asking the Lord to help me preach a good  sermon.' 
'How  come He doesn't answer it?' she asked.   

UNTIMELY  ANSWERED PRAYER 
     During the minister's prayer one Sunday , there  was a loud whistle from one of the back  pews.  Tommy's mother was horrified. She  pinched him into silence and , after church ,  asked , 'Tommy , whatever made you do such a  thing?' 
Tommy  answered soberly , 'I asked God to teach me to  whistle , and He did!' 

ALL  MEN / ALL GIRLS 
      When my daughter , Kelli , said her bedtime  prayers , she would bless every family member ,  every friend , and every animal (current and  past).   For several weeks , after we  had finished the nightly prayer , Kelli would  say , 'And all girls.'  This soon became  part of her nightly routine , to include this  closing.  My curiosity got the best of me  and I asked her , 'Kelli , why do you always add  the part about all girls?' 
       Her response , 'Because everybody always finish  their prayers by saying 'All  Men'!' 

SAY  A PRAYER     
    Little  Johnny and his family were having Sunday dinner  at his Grandmother's house.  Everyone was  seated around the table as the food was being  served.  When Little Johnny received his  plate , he started eating right  away. 
     'Johnny!  Please wait until we say our  prayer.'  said his mother.  
    'I don't need to , '  the boy  replied. 
     'Of course , you do.'  his mother  insisted.  'We always say a prayer before  eating at our house.' 
   'That's at our house.'  Johnny  explained.  'But this is Grandma's house  and she knows how to  cook!' 

Posted via email from Curt Beavers